Tug of War: Silencing the Critic Inside
by: Sarah West
I can honestly say that my outlook on life has drastically changed within the last seventy-two hours. In fact, looking back now, I see just how irrational I was feeling. Once again, I had let my emotions take over and the truth was stored away somewhere between the lost files of reality and fact. And during this time of extreme woe, what do I do to make it worse? I got on Facebook, called a friend, called my mom and paced….a lot. A lethal combination! Though I went to those that loved me and did offer good advice, never did I seek Fatherly advice.
(Oh, and just on a side note, I strongly encourage you to stay clear of social media when you are feeling down in the dumps. There’s nothing like distorting true reality better than social media outlets! Just sayin’)
The last 72 hours had not been the best and if you asked me why, I really could not pinpoint the external culprit to my distress. The last few days I had questioned everything from my competency in motherhood to how good of a friend I had been. Maybe I was a bad mom for not wanting to play Battle or Twister for the billionth time! Maybe I should have made plans with my girlfriends the night I didn’t have my kids and the husband was working- after all, wasn’t I selfish to want to just have a night to myself in that rare moment the opportunity was presented? The critic was back, whispering in my ear the many faults that I had and emotionally debilitating me.
I prayed for God to reveal to me what was making me feel so subpar.
I had to ask didn’t I?!
As many of you will remember, I shared my testimony on Heartskeeper in March (My Moment of Clarity). I encourage you to go take a look if you haven’t read it. Idols played a large role in my faith. My faith and commitment to Christ was contingent upon the idols in my life. If things were good, I was good. If things weren’t going so well, I fell apart. Some of my idols took the form of academic achievement, career and status to my family and friends. My identity was, at some point and time, found in each one of the latter mentioned. Each promised peace, contentment, happiness and a greater sense of self.
I had a choice. I could find my identity in my present circumstances or I can find my identity in the cornerstone of my faith. I choose the second!
Maybe something has gotten you down and no matter how you try to “fix it” it’s still broken. Many of you are starting new schools, moving on to the next phase of life and some of you feel stuck in a rut where you see life moving along leaving you in the dust. Maybe, just maybe, your life feels out of control right now.
Don’t lose hope my friend. In times of these storms, God is there holding your hand. And many times, God is using that storm in life that has made you feel so out of control in order for you can to know His sovereignty.
“My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.” James 1:2-3
He promises to walk with you and never leave you. Cling to that truth! And remember, tomorrow is another day.
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