Marriage Series: The Art of War

“For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh, for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses.”

2 Corinthians 10:3-4


The warfare can be anything or anyone. Today, I am talking about the complacency infiltrating our marriages, slowly destroying the precious union that held so much promise at one time. Now, the flesh will whisper sweet lies, helping us justify the defilement of our marriage covenant.

“She’s not the same woman I married.”

“We simply fell out of love with one another.”

“He’s impossible to deal with.”

“I deserve happiness and someone who loves me.”

We live in a society that condones every feeling we ever have. When something gets tough, we walk away from it. We justify feelings and dismiss our marriage covenant as some expired contract. Our commitments mean absolutely nothing.

If something doesn’t make us happy, we wave our white flag and passively watch our marriages die in the wreckage of a war in which we are solely responsible.

And a short time later, we are at the battlefield again. Same war just a different enemy (relationship). Are you tired yet? Don’t you want to know what a marriage that is honoring could be like?

I cannot speak for what is happening in your marriage. It may not be the ideal situation for you but I want to encourage you to do one thing.


Fight until every fiber of your being is exhausted.

Fight as if your very next breath depends on it.

Fight for your spouse even when they won’t.

Fight for your marriage.

War is messy. There are casualties in war but couples you do not have to be one of them. In the battle for our marriage, it might not be physical death, but sometimes it means we put to death the assumptions, the entitlements, the selfishness and the lies we have allowed ourselves to believe.

Here are four verses I encourage you to read and consider. Weigh your marriage against these verses. Are you doing this? If not, have you considered trying another way to fight to keep your marriage alive and protected from war?

 “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”- 1 Peter 4:8

Marriage is a union of two sinners. No one is perfect in a marriage. There will be times that a husband or wife may fail each other, mess up, or do something hurtful. It is important to remember God’s definition of love and know that loving each other deeply can cover all those sins. Fight with love.

“Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” – Ecclesiastes 4:12

Do you understand you are stronger together, not separate? The three cords in this verse represent a husband, a wife, and God. These three form a close relationship that is not easily broken. Many of us never put God in our marriage equation. My question is this- how’s that working for you? Fight with God, not against Him in your marriage.

“Be completely humble and gentle; Be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace.”- Ephesians 4:2-3

This verse goes against the lies of this world. Individuals are told that if they feel wronged, respond however they feel justified. Fighting with anger will not soothe the issues. Responding in spite and annoyance will only hinder progress.  My guess is this is why you are where you are in the first place? Don’t fight with your words.

“Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”- Mark 10:9

When you first enter into marriage, the last thing you are thinking about is divorce! Over the years, you enter times of hardship and trials that threaten your relationship. Even in seasons of drought, divorce should never be uttered. You have been joined together under God, don’t let anyone or anything be an excuse to break your marriage vows. Fight for the hope that God can change something broken into something beautiful. It is not too late……

More in the Marriage Series. Stay tuned!



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