I Am Done Running

Guest Post by Rachael Smith

lady sitting down and looking at the citySix trail races, two triathlons, and two marathons in the fall. I am ready to rest.

My last run before this past marathon got me thinking. I once believed that runners were running from something. I realized that I’m not running from something. I’m running to something. Although this has not always been the case.

I’ve been running since I was 14, and it was truly because I enjoyed it (and didn’t have the coordination to play a sport with a ball). My first road race was when I was 21. Then I attempted twice to train for a marathon but had to quit because of injuries. When I finally did accomplish it in 2003, it was because I was running away…

In March of 2003 my mom went into the hospital suddenly. She had cancer and was in a drug-induced coma. The doctors didn’t expect much, but we had hope. In June, my hubby and I moved to Atlanta. In July, my mom was gone. I had so much anger, and hurt, and heartbreak. I was in a new city with a new job with no friends and no family. So I ran. And ran. And ran. It was my therapy.

After my first marathon I decided to do another, and another, and…you get the point. Somewhere along the way I did let go of the anger, and was able to find peace and even joy in the heartbreak I had experienced. But any time my world starts to crumble, I plan another race. Hence these past two marathons.

Back in August I found out I was expecting again! Followed by learning that I was having a miscarriage (my second). I cried and yelled and cussed when I first discovered that I was losing it. But when they gave me the official word, nothing. Not a drop of saline came from my eyes. For nearly two months, until my last training run. And I realized that I had been running away again. This song “Forever Reign” by Hillsong came on during my run that day. Here is the chorus:

Oh, I’m running to Your arms

I’m running to Your arms

The riches of Your love

Will always be enough

Nothing compares to Your embrace

Light of the world forever reign

And at that moment I decided that I’m not running away any longer. I’m running to my Lord, my Savior, my Love. That night I cried, and it felt so good.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m sure there will be more heartbreaks in my future. And I’m sure I will be out there running. It is my stress reliever and therapy. The Lord has made me with the ability and the desire to do so. But I know that I will be running to the promises that He has for me.

Meet Rachael Smith:

Rachael Smith

I am a follower of Christ, wife of 15 years, mom to 3 children, and hopefully more through adoption. Currently I am trying out this homeschooling thing and hoping that I’m not ruining my children. Training for marathons and triathlons helps me be a nicer person. Pretty much I’m trying to fit it all in and somehow stay sane through it all.
You can connect with Rachael on her website.

 

 

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